Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Ok you cant be a stuck up right wing snob and NOT learn proper fucking English. I am actually ok with patois and even incorrect grammar to some extent, but if you’re gonna be a bitch about stuff? I mean you think you’re so great right? Use a freaking dictionary! So this Christian Texas freak mom was on wife swap this week, and I think her attitude, values and intellect can be summarized in one quote:

“They live in squander.”

Squander? Geezus H. Louise, that’s almost as bad as when my ex boss Jana and ex pseudo boyfriend say “in lieu of” when they mean “in light of.” Breakups and bad job situations are sad, but I guess the silver lining is that now I get to say…

“IN LIEU OF” MEANS “INSTEAD OF” NOT “IN LIGHT OF!”

Can u tell I have some vocab issues? I spose that makes me a stuck up snob in my own special way. The difference is that I rule, and this is my blog, dammit! Plus I remember learning the shit in Mrs. Cyr’s 5th grade class, and she wasn’t even a good teacher. What’s their excuse?

Well when baseball mom Shannon decrees no more black clothes, wee mohawked Carson retorts with a mocking “Life is all flowers and sausages.” Fucking brilliant!
Ok let’s just get all the ranting and TV reportage out of the way. Dancing with the stars was kinda good this week. Mario and his dimples were incredible as expected. Thankfully his Russian partner Karina’s huge penis was irradiated away by Chernobyl, so it didn’t get in the way of their routine. Boring Monique Coleman tried to let loose in a fierce fuchsia plumage getup, but she applied way too much body grease and took crumping advice from a character named Tommy the Clown. She went all crazy and was all over the map. Judge Len said she was “all cheese and no burger.” Amen, Len. To be filed under “gayer than gay” was Joey Lawrence’s routine in white linen to the George Michael classic “Father Figure.” I hated the prancing and dancing, but Joey’s undulating was nice, and honestly I think he prolly designed the costumes. Emmit’s dancing was muddy, and Jerry was insane but funny and sweet. The group disco routine was a mess and was way more 80s than disco. Joey was popping and locking which was kinda cute but anachronistic. It was embarrassing the way that those big choreographed all-star, all-shill network promo spots make you cringe. The finale was the interview with Sara Evans as to why she dropped out. I thought she was just boring and frumpy with a bad stylist, but it turns out she’s a total republican white bred nightmare. I didn’t know that her husband was running for congress; that’s why tom delay was urging repubs to support her on DWTS. Kinda makes his Internet self-porno-portraits seem more appropriate. Whatever waning sympathy I had for Sara’s mommed-out style went out the window when she said of her DWTS partner “even though he’s Albanian, he has a sense of humor.” Clearly he has lived in the states for a long time and gave her this priceless look as if to say, “I’m as American as you are, you crazy cracker.”

As for project runway, of course Jeffery wins, and that’s fine with me. I love Laura, but whatever. Speaking of project runway designers, we already have one that’s gonna be sewing at Swap-O-Rama-Rama come December. I am trying to contact more PRunway designers, so if you know any, send em my way!

BazBiz shit is really shaping up now. I am amazed at the enthusiasm I’m getting from the volunteer base this year, which is so crucial cuz last year we didn’t have any volunteers to speak of, and it made the day a lot more difficult than usual. I am also pumped about the whole Makitakit area because I am signing up some cool businesses to do stations. Blue rooster art supply just down the street from my place is gonna be doing a collage station, which will rule. I think I mentioned before that Craft magazine is doing a Gocco greeting card station and there will also be a DIY custom gift-wrap station. I’m “in talks” with a few other potential participants, but I am always scouting for more, so if you have a business or know of once who might be able to set up something fun and crafty and hands-on for our guests, lemme know! (greg@bazaarbizarre.org)

The vendor gallery is being updated daily now as info is finalized, and new pages are being added to the site. I am so slow when it comes to web stuff. I wish I were more of a whiz kid, but I am doing the best I can.

Holy lineup changes! TiVo has just informed me that my beloved channel 78, Turner Classic Movies, has been replaced with the fucking Golf Channel and has been removed from my service tier with about 8 other channels? DAMN YOU TIME-WARNER!

2 Comments:

Donna&Robin said...

One of my favorite word misuses was from a woman who was trying to sell me on the Jenny Craig system. She was talking about meetings I think, and what she meant was that they were very accommodating of individual schedules, but the word she used was acclimatizing. That's right, ACCLIMATIZING. bwa ha ha Needless to say I ran, not walked out of there as quickly as possible. I'm not going to trust you with my health and well-being if you don't sound like you even graduated from junior high. :-)

2:50 PM  
meowy jo said...

OK, your vocab issues can hang out with my punctuation issues / grammer issues. For example, my personal favorite, random use of quotation marks! I just love it when I see a sign that says "SALE!" ok, people, is it a sale, or just like a sale?

Or my favorite grammatical error these days, which is on just about every gas pump in America: PLEASE PRE-PAY GAS IN ADVANCE. Nice. Right up there with FAT FREE SKIM MILK.

11:08 PM  

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